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johnsuder

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Let’s face it. It’s easy to be Average

In fact, it’s pretty common to feel ‘stuck’

Does this sound like you: Interested in everything, distracted by anything, and never truly committed to any one thing or project? As the years pass, you do too many things but never stick to anything long enough to get rewarded.

As I get older, this feeling becomes stronger. Personally, I began asking questions like, “Where am I going?” “What have I done?” “What will I be known for?” Yet my mind is a jumble of random knowledge that’s not getting me where I want to be.

I’m all over the place with ideas and plans, but nothing seems to bear fruit. Do I wipe the slate and just focus on one thing? 

I’ve tried that, and then doubt and FOMO creep in—what if I’m doing the wrong thing? Oh, but wait. Here’s another shiny object or toy to distract you. And suddenly, six months later, you’re still stuck – right where you started. 

So, what’s the solution? How do you break free? How do you get unstuck? You see where you want to be in your imagination – but how do you get there? 

Focus, discipline, commitment.

Scary big words for us serial noodlers and procrastinators. (Apologies if you were expecting a magic formula)

But that doesn’t mean you must be all ‘5 a.m. ice bath and half marathon before work’. 

The first step is to identify WHY you’re stuck.

Recognize why you’re stuck

  • You’re feeling uninspired or bored with daily life. 
  • You lack the motivation to pursue goals. 
  • Spending valuable time procrastinating and doomscrolling or avoiding important tasks. 
  • You have self-doubt or fear of change.

What’s causing this?

Take a step back and look at what’s happening in your life and work. 

  • Does some part of your life feel stagnant?
    No work promotions, no vacations or excursions, a lack of joy with hobbies
  • Are you avoiding something?
    You’re supposed to get that medical test or make that important but very scary call to someone. There’s an elephant in the room in your life that you just can’t deal with. 
  • Have a toxic work environment?
    Working with people who don’t share your passion or are irritating can burn you out quickly.
    Asshole bosses don’t help, either.
  • Stressful or unfulfilling home life?
    You and your spouse/partner no longer see eye to eye; you feel lonely and want to take the world on your own. 

Your mindset needs to shift

You are your thoughts. There is no getting around this. If you walk around all day thinking there’s a cloud over your head, look up—there probably is. What you put out into the universe is exactly what you get back. People that bitch and complain all the time never get far – and they won’t let you get very far either. Avoid these people at all costs. They are energy vampires. Instead, focus on surrounding yourself with positive, motivated people who will lift you up and encourage your growth. Cultivate an abundance mindset – there is more than enough success, happiness, and fulfillment to go around. 

Change your limiting beliefs

I had a rough time about 20 years ago. A friend told me about Tony Robbins. I’d dabbled in his books in the 90s, but I was too ‘on the go’ to make practical use of his advice. This friend gave me a set of audio CDs of one of his programs. I listened to them nonstop until some of it took hold and made sense. 

He spoke about your limiting beliefs: Your limiting beliefs are the negative self-talk that holds you back. They’re usually subconscious and can be deeply ingrained. Your limiting beliefs might include “I’m not smart enough,” “I’ll never be successful,” or “I don’t have what it takes.” Ask yourself where they came from and whether they are actually true. Replace them with more empowering thoughts that align with your goals and vision.

Identify your ‘core values’

What makes you tick? What are your non-negotiables in life? Once you’ve identified your core values, make sure your daily actions and decisions align with them. These ‘guiding principles’ will help keep you motivated and focused on what truly matters to you. Surround yourself with supportive people who share your values and ambitions.

Break down the big goals into smaller, manageable steps. 

Tony Robbins calls this ‘chunking’ – don’t look at a problem as a big unsolvable puzzle. Break it down. Broke? Your first step is to make a budget. Overwhelmed by clutter? Start by tackling your kitchen junk drawer. Struggling with a big project at work? Make a list of all the steps needed to get it done. Focusing on the big problem can be frightening, but breaking it down into actionable steps makes it feel more achievable and less scary. 

Celebrate small wins along the way. 

No, don’t go on a 3-day bender because you check off one thing. When setting goals, you should also set rewards. Accomplish your workouts this week? Have a cheat day. You get the idea. Celebrate those small wins along the way to stay motivated and keep the momentum going. Positive reinforcement helps you stay on track and maintain your motivation over the long haul. 

Go Easy on yourself!

Consistency and discipline are key, but remember to balance them with self-care and rest. It’s important to be kind to yourself throughout the process. Burnout and exhaustion will only set you back. Take breaks when needed, and don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip. Progress isn’t linear, and setbacks are a normal part of growth. 

If all else fails, ask for help

This is something I personally struggle with. I’ve always been a go-it-alone type of personality – but there’s a limit. Reach out to friends and family if you think they can help. If not, it may be time to seek professional support. A therapist, coach, or counselor can provide tools and insights to help you overcome barriers and get unstuck

With the right mindset and habits, you can get unstuck and break free from the cycle of average. Make 2025 the year you get unstuck!

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I tend toward optimism. We only have the present moment; the past has already passed, and the future is merely a figment of our imagination. However, this year has been incredibly unique and unsettling. We live in uncertain times, but haven’t we always? This year was no exception, with ongoing wars, unpredictable elections, and weather events related to climate change.

And the cherry on top: the drone thing. 

My opinion is nothing (at this point). 

Logically, the military wouldn’t allow these drones to fly around aimlessly. Just go and find footage of drones trying to access Area 51. They don’t last more than two seconds. Meanwhile, these entities are flying over military installations without any interference. The government has no idea what the fuck it is. The Pentagon denies that it is foreign interference. Yet the objects themselves look very much like commercial drones. 

I feel something is missing in between, and until I hear that part, I have no comment. Just a bunch of question marks.

But at the same time, I’m having this feeling (and so have some others) that we’re sort of in a calm-before-the-storm moment. 

Something is coming. 

What is it? I have no clue, but I know lately I’ve been leaning more toward self-care. Taking things a little slower and being mindful/meditative has helped me with this.

However, I struggle to pinpoint my exact emotions. Digging through Reddit threads and other social media platforms, I see many others have this same feeling. However, unlike some experiences with a syndrome called hypervigilance, it’s not a feeling of fear or dread. I’m adopting a Buddhist approach and simply observing the situation. It’s not keeping me up at night, nor do I dwell on this feeling. It’s just… there.

I’m publishing this so I can look back and laugh endlessly when I revise it next year—or at least that’s what I hope for. 

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Happy Friday, Team (more like friYAY!:)

As a thought leader, I’m opening the kimono to do a dive deep into the synergies of our holistic, disruptive ideation process. I feel we need to leverage our core competencies and operationalize our blue-sky thinking.

At the end of the day, we need to move the needle and get buy-in from all stakeholders. It’s time to think outside the box and get granular with our next-generation solutions.

I believe we need to take a burn the boats approach and embark on a new paradigm shift for our business. No more blue-sky thinking or low-hanging fruit. Let’s just focus on delivering real value to our customers.

We need to future-proof our actionables and begin to align our KPIs toward sustainable renewable revenue streams.

I suggest a robust value-added framework of success metrics that will not only drive real results, but also provide transparency and accountability. We should establish key milestones and track our progress, synergizing our resources and optimizing our workflow cadence. 

A more robust effort must be made to engage our cross-functional thought partners. We need to align our team and ensure everyone is rowing in the same direction. It’s time to cut the fat and focus on our core competencies. By streamlining our operations and optimizing our workflows, we can drive real, sustainable results.

This will enable us to move the needle and truly move the dial for our stakeholders. Let’s roll up our sleeves and get to work – no more talking in circles, it’s time for action.

Anyone who is not with this new direction can simply be shown the door. We will schedule a meeting with our Chief People Officers® to wind down your engagement, discuss your careabouts and begin your decommitment ceremony from the company.

Let’s take this offline and circle back on the deliverables to close the loop.

COFFEE CHAT 4:45PM FRIDAYS
Putting this in your calendars for Friday so we can better align as a team. This is 15 minutes to relax, unwind, and socialize about our ideas for the week. Because here, we’re family. CAMERAS ON, MANDATORY. 

See you all there.

Also, there’s birthday cake in the breakroom from 4:00 to 4:12pm for Kathy in accounting. 

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Caring too much about what others think can be a real buzzkill. It can hold you back from living your best life, pursuing your dreams, or being authentic. 

I’ve been an anxious person for most of my life, so I’m basically an expert on the topic.

If you find yourself second-guessing your choices because of someone else’s opinion, you’re not alone. The good news is that you can break free from that mindset. 

Here’s how to stop giving a f*ck what anyone thinks and start living life on your terms.

Embrace Your Weirdness

First, recognize that you are one-of-a-kind and that there’s nobody else out there like you. In my case, that’s probably a good thing. But I digress…

Your quirks, interests, and your flaws make you who you are. Instead of trying to fit into someone else’s mold, celebrate your individuality. What makes you unique? Remind yourself of those qualities whenever self-doubt creeps in. When you embrace your uniqueness, it becomes way easier to shrug off others’ opinions. 

Realize That Most People Don’t Really Care

This is the big one. Thinking about that one time in 5th Grade you said something embarrassing? Yes, it sucked but the truth is the world has moved on. No one is thinking about you that way, and if they are they are either obsessed or bored. You don’t need them.

Most people are too preoccupied with their own lives to spend much time judging you. They’re not analyzing your every move or decision. Even if someone does have a negative opinion, it’s a reflection of their insecurities, not anything to do with you. 

Focus on the people who truly matter and whose opinions you value, and let the rest fade into the background.

Set Boundaries

It’s important to set boundaries with people who try to impose their views on you. You don’t have to engage or justify your choices. Let them know that their opinion isn’t needed or welcome, and redirect the conversation. If they persist, maybe it’s time to let them go. 

Shift Your Focus

Shift your focus from what others think to what you think. Ask yourself: What do I want? What makes me happy? When you start prioritizing your desires over the opinions of others, life gets a whole lot more enjoyable. Set personal goals and chase after them with passion. New job, career change, hobbies—do it for you.

The more you focus on yourself, the less energy you’ll have to waste on worrying about what others think.

Surround Yourself with Positivity

I make a pretty good attempt at keeping a positive attitude. Has it always served me well? Generally, but sometimes I’m too trusting.

The people you hang out with have a huge impact on how you feel about yourself. If you’re constantly surrounded by negative vibes or judgmental attitudes, it’s time to reevaluate those relationships. 

Seek out friends and acquaintances who uplift and inspire you—those who celebrate your successes and encourage you to be yourself. Positive people will help reinforce the idea that it’s perfectly okay to be different and will support you in your journey toward self-acceptance. 

Practice self-compassion. When you catch yourself worrying about what others think, take a step back and ask how you would treat a friend in the same situation. Chances are, you’d offer words of encouragement and support, not criticism. Extend that same kindness to yourself. Remember that you’re human and that it’s okay to make mistakes or have flaws. The more you can learn to love and accept yourself, the less you’ll care about anyone else’s opinion.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Sometimes the harshest critic is ourselves. When those nagging thoughts pop up—like “What will they think?” or “I shouldn’t do this”—challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself if those thoughts are really true or just a product of fear. Often, we blow things out of proportion in our minds. Fear is a big component in how you react to circumstances. FEAR is just False Evidence Appearing Real.

Take a step back and evaluate the situation objectively. You’ll likely find that most people are too busy worrying about their own lives to judge yours as harshly as you imagine. Remember that you are the expert on your own life. No one else can truly understand what you’re going through or what’s best for you. Trust your instincts and make decisions that align with your values, not someone else’s. The more you practice this, the easier it will become to tune out external noise and stay true to yourself. 

Ultimately, the only opinion that matters is your own. Embrace it, and watch as the freedom to live authentically transforms your life.

Stopping the habit of giving a f*ck about what anyone thinks is all about embracing who you are, shifting your focus inward, surrounding yourself with positivity, challenging negative thoughts, and practicing self-compassion.Living life on your own terms is worth it. Remember that life is too short to live for anyone but yourself, so be unapologetically you and embrace your uniqueness.